Indian Idol

The past few days have seen a host of Indians having more than their fare share of stardom as they are quite ceremoniously crowned an Indian Idol on some channel or the other. So it was time I decided to define for myself what exactly an idol was. As far as my modest education would permit, I found myself coming back to the same conclusion that an idol was someone that I was supposed to emulate in some form or the other. With so many people waiting to be emulated, I feared that at the end of the day, I may not have progressed in any direction other than schizophrenia if I decided to accept all of them worthy of emulation. I was getting quite disturbed trying to figure out the criteria for catapulting someone to idol status when I had this idea – a true Indian Idol would be the one who could talk on a one on one with Prabhu Chawla and still smile at the end of the interview. Here are the ones who made the list

A B
Not the beginning of the English alphabet (though I bet if they waited till the time this person made his appearance, the paradigms would have been much different as I would beg to explain a little later). Of course they stand for Amitabh Bachhan (I have a good mind to add one more to the overflowing libel folder of Microsoft for not recognizing the big B’s name as part of the standard dictionary but that can wait). Any one whose body had been meeting the basal metabolism rates for the past few days as the great man’s intestines decided to play a trick on him will realize what I am talking about here. In this age which has been dubbed as one of the most selfish and self centered, it was only a testament to the tremendous influence of this person as the entire nation glued in to their TV screens to hear news of their favorite actor as the doctors tried their best to put those pesky jejunums and duodenums on track. I am generally quite a skeptical individual and I have this rather presumptuous gesture of dismissing all forms of hero worship with a Wodehouse-esque “Ha” but something made me sit up and take notice this time as he fought a bitter battle against those dastardly innards of his. Though I stopped quite a few feet short of setting up a shrine and praying for his well being, I will confess to have wished quite a few times for him to rise once again and wave his Subhash Nagre waive from his balcony for the millions of junta waiting to get a glimpse of their IDOL.
Actor par excellence, a man of few but worthy words, anchor extraordinaire, a picture of suavity and sobriety, a representative of the flamboyance of aristocracy as well as the familiarity of the masses – there will hardly be an Inditan who hasn’t spent hours glued to whatever form of screen devouring his Bairon-Bhairon-English-comedy, anti-gravity-villain-gut-crushing kicks, make-you-cry-alongside emotions. He has enthralled generations of this country with his mere presence. A person whose fan base is larger than the voter base of the country is someone who is truly an Indian Idol.
If an idol is all about setting an example in whatever he does, then this person truly personifies all that and more. Someone who can mean so much to a man on the road that he will leave his daily chores and pray to God so that he may rise above all troubles has to be one who is worthy of emulation. Actor of the Millennium in a poll by the BBC, he beat out heavy weights of the likes of Charlie Chaplin et al and it is once again a testament to his popularity that a country like ours where it is a foregone conclusion that online surveys are beyond the reach of the majority of the people got off its butt and put him on top (something that even the seductive gestures of the Miss India world failed to do). The other day, a group of us were sitting around the lunch table and discussing about this scientific community survey in some institute where Newton scored above Einstein as a scientist. The discussion was getting quite heated when someone quipped “Unfortunately it wasn’t India otherwise Amitabh would have won hands down”.

L M
If Amitabh Bachhan would have stood for A B, then the English alphabet would surely have done very well to put up L and M for Lata Mangeshkar or as the people more affectionately put it Lata Tai. Accolades have faded in their glory in trying to sing praises of this female whose mellifluous melodies have filled decades of India with joy, fulfillment, sorrow and hope. If there is any physical manifestation of the word haunt in this physical world, then it has to be the sound of her songs. The entire line of her being an institution in herself seems so clichéd that I cringed before typing it but such is the magnitude of her presence that couldn’t do without it. Entire generations have grown up and passed away swinging in the melodies that she has sung for them. It is a testament to her long standing achievements that my mother tells of her favorite Lata Mangeshkar records she won in a contest on Binaca Geet mala at the same time I plug into my MP3 player listening to Veer Zaara (the only good thing in the film. Couldn’t they just have released the album and spared us the pain of that India Pak slug fest?) It is not for nothing that she holds the world record for having sung the most number of songs in the most number of languages in the world. Coming from a history of 23 years which consists of many hard-to-forget memories of moments on the quiz stage trying to figure out which singer was it who would fetch me those 5 points, hers is the one voice that no quiz master other than probably Derek or a certain Princeton pass out cares to put in a quiz purely for the reasons that no person who cannot recognize her voice deserves to actually call himself as part of a sub species of the species named so very pathetically as HOMO sapien sapien. And those two would also have their reasons for doing so. While the former was most probably looking for avenues of distributing t shirts to the audience (because that of course is what a quiz is meant for isn’t it?), the latter was definitely looking for avenues of going down in history as the only person stupid enough to proclaim Lata Mangeshkar’s voice as Alka Yagnik with a throat infection in broad nightlight at some Technical College quizfest to bleary eyed numb minded quizzically bedazzled dudes who couldn’t care less if he said that the song was actually sung in Swahili and was meant as a tribute to Idi Amin.
Someone who can make the likes of Karan Thapar wait for a response in an interview before launching the next question has to be worthy of the title of Indian Idol. It is truly extraordinary for someone to have the audacity to refuse further awards and make it look humility. Jawahar Lal Nehru is reported to have cried at her rendition of “Ai mere Watan ke logon” and let me tell you that though I am no JL Nehru, the feelings on hearing that evergreen melody about the soldiers of India brings feelings and emotions of patriotism like few other. This diminutive looking lady stands tallest among the various whose voices have graced the playback scene in Indian music and it is not a surprise that she would always and forever figure in the list of Indian Idols.


S T
Some could argue that I was trying to pull off a marketing gimmick by this play on consecutive lettering thing but believe me, this is some sort of a weird coincidence. Continuing in the traditions of greatness defined in this passage, comes my last Indian idol – Sachin Tendulkar. 16 years ago, a 16 year old walked onto the field against Pakistan and the cricket field has never been the same again at least not for India. That young boy is today’s cricket superstar and demi God - Sachin. In a country crazy for this game, it is quite easy to make fans and it is even easier to lose them. But he has been the one person who has seen his following grow even when the chips have been down. There have been so many instances when cricketers once feted for their achievements have found themselves on the wrong side of the boundary rope and the crowd baying for their blood but Sachin has been one of the very few for whom the crowd has not only applauded wildly when the bats have been raised in the elation of a hundred but also prayed in the second innings when the first has yielded a naught. The only one close enough to actually have any passing shot at a century of centuries in the entire world, this short statured man has won the hearts of people of a country where love is scarce and hate sells dime a dozen in your nearest flea market. Sachin has truly been an Indian idol in the manner that he has carried himself both on and off the field. While his bat has done all the talking that needs to be done, his mouth has scarcely let off anything other than those boyish high pitched cries of elation. Unlike his batting, flamboyance has scarcely been a part of his personality and though loose shots have been few and far between from his bat, loose comments have never darkened his doorstep. Be it the worsest of situations, this is one guy who has always retained his dignity and come out unscathed and that is what makes him a true Indian Idol. If simplicity were to be the forte of someone, then that someone would have to be called Sachin Tendulkar. Even in today’s world of Channel 7 where you wonder if your next comment could become Shiv Sena’s electoral campaign 2 days from now and where dirty linen of the stars has been stolen from the laundry and displayed in public, this is one person who has given the country a reason to be proud that he is a son of this soil.