I am fed up of watching salvation movies. Movies that have their theme as the return from the brink of extinction for the entire mankind. Why is it that the US of A always manages to save the day while we Indians are portrayed as chumps dressed in dhotis, kurtas and turbans posing as the worst of the beggars standing in front of Taj Mahal with our heads skywards chanting in some odd chorus calling for “who else” to save our souls? When will we ever have our own brand of a credible ultra suave super ass kicking Gentleman spy? When will Bollywood step onto the mantle of making a crisis movie with India in the thick of soup and one where our very own pilots can kick the guts out of the invading aliens or one where our scientists can churn up some potent lethal gas that can snuff out the lives across all of Asia and winds favoring, hit the shores of liberty within 15 hours and our very own Brig Sharma can step up to the challenge to prevent the evil Mr Dong from playing Dr Doom (and by the way I am sure we can provide enough eye candy for the role of Miss ass kicking damsel in distress in climax needing salvation before bomb diffusion. We did win a handful Miss Universes and some Miss Worlds. Didn’t we)?
I realize that it is not that we haven’t had national crisis movies before. We have had our share of Mr India(s) and Krantiveer(s). What we have lacked is the determination to take it to the global platform. We have underplayed our potential by retaining our talents within the subcontinent. I think I can provide one reason for our failure to become the global cynosure. You see we picked our enemy quite close to home. I mean there are only so many other than the interested parties that you can endanger when all that separates the opposing forces geographically is a picket fence. Our nemesis (in the cinematic ventures) on the other hand decided to pick fights with someone who lives across an entire continent. (Come to think of it, could cinematic interests be one of the causes of both the cold war and the gulf war? Who knows but somebody should check up on that. Probably could be a great storyline for a Brad Pitt starrer flick in the near future. Anyway back to the main show). What it does is give Hollywood an entire playing field across Europe and parts of Asia. Gives them that much more possibilities of staging Air Force One emergencies over a wider geographical expanse. Our poor cousins sitting in Mumbai on the other hand have to console themselves with just the SAARC limitations barring the few exceptions where our problems are exported to the land of possibilities a case in point being Jo Bole So Nihaal (God cant get that movie out of my head.) So am I saying that we should urge the Govt to bug someone across the continental demarcations for the benefit of the silver screen back home? Wouldn’t hurt but we can do with much lesser exertion I think.
How about an alien invasion movie where Infy Bangalore can come up with the all important virus instead of Jeff Goldblum in NASA? Or how about a futuristic fight to the survival for the human species led by Sabyasachi Mukherjee instead of John Connor? I think we can definitely have a winner in an accidental leak of highly confidential designs of fusion bomb developed by a group of researchers in IISc and a cross continent chase of the baddies by an international consortium of super sleuths led by who else but Brig Sharma of the first paragraph fame. And for once can we have an Indian satellite picking up the all important first contact with Extra terrestrial beings? Can we just be creative enough for making one of those darned UFOs land in the Thar desert instead of the Patagonia or the Atacama? Will be a good change of climate for the aliens also don’t you think? I understand that given the Katrinas and the Ritas making Bush look quite the chimp that he actually is, a perfect storm theme quite catches the fascination in the land of opportunities but didn’t we have our own share of Tsunamis? Just because we didn’t name the damn thing Padmavati doesn’t mean that we let go of the billions that could be gained through a successful screening of the same.
Come on people, pull up your socks and let’s not pull any punches here. Let’s for once get our heads down and deliver a knockout performance of our capabilities in saving the world in times of crisis. Let the world know that in case the green hostile aliens actually come raining destructive laser beams, we will be wearing more than dhotis and kurtas, chanting more than hymns ominously sounding like “aa jaa aa jaa….” and our hands will be used for much more effect than raising them heavenward for help from god knows which quarters. Let’s for once show that the nation playing host to one sixth of the world’s population can successfully shoulder the responsibility of the rest. So here’s to our first Bollywood venture of India the world savior. Hope Bollywood’s listening.
I realize that it is not that we haven’t had national crisis movies before. We have had our share of Mr India(s) and Krantiveer(s). What we have lacked is the determination to take it to the global platform. We have underplayed our potential by retaining our talents within the subcontinent. I think I can provide one reason for our failure to become the global cynosure. You see we picked our enemy quite close to home. I mean there are only so many other than the interested parties that you can endanger when all that separates the opposing forces geographically is a picket fence. Our nemesis (in the cinematic ventures) on the other hand decided to pick fights with someone who lives across an entire continent. (Come to think of it, could cinematic interests be one of the causes of both the cold war and the gulf war? Who knows but somebody should check up on that. Probably could be a great storyline for a Brad Pitt starrer flick in the near future. Anyway back to the main show). What it does is give Hollywood an entire playing field across Europe and parts of Asia. Gives them that much more possibilities of staging Air Force One emergencies over a wider geographical expanse. Our poor cousins sitting in Mumbai on the other hand have to console themselves with just the SAARC limitations barring the few exceptions where our problems are exported to the land of possibilities a case in point being Jo Bole So Nihaal (God cant get that movie out of my head.) So am I saying that we should urge the Govt to bug someone across the continental demarcations for the benefit of the silver screen back home? Wouldn’t hurt but we can do with much lesser exertion I think.
How about an alien invasion movie where Infy Bangalore can come up with the all important virus instead of Jeff Goldblum in NASA? Or how about a futuristic fight to the survival for the human species led by Sabyasachi Mukherjee instead of John Connor? I think we can definitely have a winner in an accidental leak of highly confidential designs of fusion bomb developed by a group of researchers in IISc and a cross continent chase of the baddies by an international consortium of super sleuths led by who else but Brig Sharma of the first paragraph fame. And for once can we have an Indian satellite picking up the all important first contact with Extra terrestrial beings? Can we just be creative enough for making one of those darned UFOs land in the Thar desert instead of the Patagonia or the Atacama? Will be a good change of climate for the aliens also don’t you think? I understand that given the Katrinas and the Ritas making Bush look quite the chimp that he actually is, a perfect storm theme quite catches the fascination in the land of opportunities but didn’t we have our own share of Tsunamis? Just because we didn’t name the damn thing Padmavati doesn’t mean that we let go of the billions that could be gained through a successful screening of the same.
Come on people, pull up your socks and let’s not pull any punches here. Let’s for once get our heads down and deliver a knockout performance of our capabilities in saving the world in times of crisis. Let the world know that in case the green hostile aliens actually come raining destructive laser beams, we will be wearing more than dhotis and kurtas, chanting more than hymns ominously sounding like “aa jaa aa jaa….” and our hands will be used for much more effect than raising them heavenward for help from god knows which quarters. Let’s for once show that the nation playing host to one sixth of the world’s population can successfully shoulder the responsibility of the rest. So here’s to our first Bollywood venture of India the world savior. Hope Bollywood’s listening.
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